“German Rebecca is much more direct than British Rebecca!”

Someone said this to me recently and I thought about it for quite a while. Am I really different in German? And if I am, does that mean I’m not being the true me? Maybe I’m not being authentic. Authenticity is a concept we often hear about but understanding its connection to foreign languages is quite complex. I recently explored its connection to speaking a second language in a paper I wrote for my Positive Psychology course. Here are some of my insights.

What Does Authenticity Really Mean?

At its core, authenticity means staying true to oneself. It’s the alignment of our words, actions and intentions with our inner values and identity. When we’re authentic, we’re expressing who we are, free of masks or pretences. In positive psychology, it is described as an emotional genuineness—a harmony between our inward feelings and how we express them outwardly.

Staying authentic can already feel challenging when we are speaking our native languages so, what happens when we switch to a second language? If language is a fundamental part of self-expression, can we be our true selves when speaking in words and phrases that don’t feel as natural?

It’s a question I have often asked myself when learning various languages. I’ve often wondered if I am being truly authentic in my other languages. Or perhaps something about my inner self gets lost in translation.  Is German Rebecca different to Spanish Rebecca and different again to Japanese Rebecca? Is British Rebecca the only true me?

Research Meets Experience: Does a Second Language Shift Our Personality?

Research in psychology and linguistics shows that many bilinguals feel they “become someone else” when switching languages. In one study, for example, a Portuguese-French bilingual girl was agreeable and polite in Portuguese but much more extroverted and pushy in French. She told the researchers exactly the same story, involving exactly the same scenarios and emotions. However, the researchers said they felt like they had interviewed two completely different people! So, why does this happen?

Self-Monitoring and Frame Switching: Can We Adapt Without Losing Ourselves?

One answer lies in what’s known as “frame switching.” This concept suggests that language and culture shape our cognitive frameworks. They cause a shift in our behaviour based on the language we’re using. The girl in the study came from a conservative background in Portugal. She was taught to always be very polite and speak in a respectful way. However, when she later moved to Paris, she hung out in the suburbs with very street-wise kids. There she learned to be much more outspoken and less respectful. Her way of speaking in French reflected that.

This adaptation, while sometimes unsettling, doesn’t necessarily mean we’re being inauthentic. High self-monitoring i.e. adapting to social cues and expectations, can enhance our ability to connect with others while remaining true to our core values. I find that when speaking German, I naturally adopted its directness but keep my preference for politeness. Instead of saying Ich bekomme (“I get”) at the bakery, I like to use Ich hätte gern (“I would like”). It’s still short and to the point but polite and fits with the British me. So, I’m adapting but still feel authentic.

Limits to Authenticity

So, my German feels quite natural and genuine after 25 years of living here. I definitely “frame switch” to suit the situation and people I am talking to. However, I can’t do that in Spanish as most of my Spanish was learned during a party-heavy university semester in Spain. So, I’m great in social situations but not able to “frame switch” to something more serious. So, I’m fun at a party but totally out of water in a formal business situation. And finally in Japanese, it’s another story altogether. I learned most of my Japanese at evening classes where we focussed on “Business Japanese” (for no good reason) so my Japanese is very stilted and serious. This has created a boring, overly serious Japanese Rebecca. Which I don’t like at all!

Of course, this is linked to levels of language ability and experience in the culture. It’s normal to feel a sense of distance from our natural personality, if we have to rely on vocabulary and expressions that feel different from those in our first language. It makes us feel less genuine, as if the voice we’re using isn’t entirely our own. In our native language, we have a full range of expressions to convey our emotions, thoughts and unique style. But when we switch to a second language, we feel restrained by our limited vocabulary and the unknown cultural nuances.

That explains why I feel like I’m only partially myself when I speak in Spanish and Japanese. I can’t express my humour in Japanese or talk about serious stuff in Spanish. The skills to do that will take some time to develop and learning the cultural side will never happen if I don’t live in in Japan or Spain.

Authenticity in a Second Language: How to Find Your “Voice”

So, what to do?

Despite all of these points, all is not lost. I truly believe that we can also find a sense of authenticity when speaking second languages. It just needs a different approach.

The key here is to find a new, adapted “voice” (with this I mean way of communicating, not some freaky new accent!) that reflects our true self. It doesn’t always have to be an exact mirror image of the one we use in our first language. It’s not about being perfect. It’s rather about embracing the process and allowing our personality to shine through the language, even when it’s imperfect.

To be authentic in a second language, try to focus on:

1. Forgetting perfection: Accept that perfection isn’t the goal—communicating in a way that feels true to who you are is the real goal. Although good pronunciation can help communication, don’t worry too much about sounding like a native speaker. Rather focus on conveying your own thoughts and emotions, even if the words aren’t always perfect.
2. Personalized Language Choices: Just as you have our own way of speaking in your native language, you can also create a unique voice in a second language. Experiment with phrases, expressions, and even idioms that resonate with you. Over time, you’ll develop a style that feels more natural.
3. Embracing the foreign you: Embracing your mistakes, whether linguistic or cultural, can actually enhance your authenticity. It shows others (and reminds yourself) that you’re committed to learning and connecting, even if it means being a bit vulnerable. Language learning is a long journey full of ups and downs. Hop on the rollercoaster and enjoy the ride!

Is Achieving Authenticity Important?

Achieving authenticity in a second language is an important part of learning a second language. Being able to express ourselves in a way that feels true and genuine builds confidence. It fosters better connections with others and gives us a sense of belonging in a new linguistic community. Authenticity in a second language may look and feel different from authenticity in our first, but that doesn’t make it any less real. It’s about adapting, embracing and ultimately owning a new way of expressing yourself—so it’s challenging but also rewarding.

Ultimately, I feel comfortable as German Rebecca. Spanish Rebecca is lots of fun but needs to grow up a bit and finally, Japanese Rebecca definitely needs to lighten up. Maybe I need a Japanese joke book for Christmas……

What are your thoughts? Feel free to comment below. As always you can follow my blog by adding your email address to the subscription box.